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Thursday, August 9, 2007

Back to school

Well, today was the boys first day back at school. I really hope they like their teachers. I'm excited with the fact that this year they are right across the hall from each other. Class parties will be so much easier this time around. Last year I was walking from one end of the school to the other, trying to spend as much time with each class as I could. It was exhausting, especially with a toddler in tow.
I am also very nervous for G-man. He is in the 4th grade this year, and they have started a pilot program in his school where the 4th & 5th graders switch classes, like middle & high school. They just seem to young for this. But, I should also mention that I think 6th grade should be put back into the elementary schools down here. They are still little kids, and shouldn't be put in a school with teenagers, (hormonally charged ones at that). Also, the middle school and high school students around here ride the same bus at the same time. That means 11 year olds are riding the same bus as 18 year olds! Just thinking about it makes me crazy. Hopefully they will put 6th grade back where it belongs before G-man gets there, (there are talks of this happening), so I won't have to worry quite as much.
In other news, I go tuesday to get my fingerprinting done and schedule my class to become a substitute teacher. It will still probably be a couple of months before I start though, since I also have to wait for a background check to come back. I'll keep y'all posted.


And now a funny for all of my southern friends, (and those who wish you were).........
SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could.

Got this as an e-mail and loved it. Some of it is soooo true. Bless your heart!

3 comments:

adymommy said...

In my little town the country kids all ride the same bus no matter the age. When my cousin was in 10th grade she had 1st graders on the same bus as her! She said that the older kids didn't care that the younger kids were there they would talk about whatever they felt like. I am so glad I don't have to worry about buses right now. Happy School Year!

Michelle said...

OMG! That had me rollin'! I don't really consider Missouri to be too southern (where my family lives) but it's funny, I knew most of that!!
Ya'll need some butter and shugah on those grits!
And sweet tea...it must ALWAYS be sweet iced tea...
That was great.
I think school is different every place you live. I remember when I left Germany (where I met Lisa) I was in 9th grade ~ a freshman in high school. I moved to North Dakota and went back into a Jr. High. It sucked!

Attila the Mom said...

Hehehe. Loved it!